Thinking thoughts

My last post reminded me of this Post Secret postcard that I can relate to.

Of course my kids can be who they want to be and if that is the most normal, average person alive, I guess that is ok.(kidding! Of course it is ok.) But if they do turn out to be the type that marches to the beat of their own drum, I hope I can instill in them the confidence to do so even if the other kids pressure them to do otherwise. Being yourself pays off, eventually!

Music for Baby

The other day I pulled a bunch of songs from my iTunes and created an iTunes list just for baby. I have an old iPod mini that I will use for his nursery and it is blue, so just perfect for baby boy! I included lots of lullaby type songs including Rockabye Baby (with Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, and The Beatles) and Lullatone albums as well as the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack with Karen O (I didn't like the movie but I love Karen O!).

I love lullatone! I purchased a couple of albums a while ago because I knew I would want them for my baby and at the time they were giving the proceeds to the Japan earthquake relief. (The lullatone people are actually a cute couple who live in Japan, who by the way are so nice and generous! They emailed me right back when I ordered and said that I ordered right on time as he was about to go to the post office). The music includes all kinds of dreamy calming sounds for baby like the xylophone, ukulele, ambient white noise, underwater recordings, and heartbeats. I have the albums Looping Lullabies and Songs that Spin in Circles. I love them both and I hope my junebug loves them too.

I also added lots of other songs from bands that I will "encourage" baby to like and some pop songs that I know he will want to get jiggy to. As well as fun educational type things like Yo Gabba Gabba, School House Rock, and some They Might be Giants albums that make my sister say that my kids are going to be "special." Hello! Of course they will be special. Super-awesome-weird-but-cool type special!

Can't wait until I know he can hear and I can play music for him to listen to in utero style. :) I have already started humming songs to him but I feel a little silly since I am not sure he even has ears yet. 

Bump Update - Bumpdate?

Friday I will be 19 weeks. As of now the baby is about the size of a green pepper. I have not felt movement yet, but whenever we have an ultra sound, baby is moving around like crazy. How can I not feel a green pepper squirming around inside me? At times I think I feel it but it is so subtle I think it could be in my head. I want to feel it so bad! Sometimes when I am going to sleep I will lay there and concentrate really hard hoping to feel something.

Weekly Pregnancy Stats!

How far along: 18 weeks and 4 days

Size of baby: About 5 1/2 inches and 6 oz. Bell Pepper sized in vegetable speak.

Total weight gain: Ugh. About 10 pounds. I don't really want to know.

Gender: Boy!

Maternity Clothes: I fit into some of them already and I am able to make my stretchy clothes work really well with my cute bump. My new maternity jeans arrived and are so comfy. (yay!)

Stretch Marks: I swear I see a really faint one appearing on my belly. This is very scary. I have been using Spoiled Mama stuff as well as L'Occitane Shea Butter which I really like so far. It doesn't smell and it stays on for a long time.

Sleep: I wake up waaay too early in the morning and many times during the night due to dreams and bathroom trips. No matter how late I stay up I automatically wake up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then I am tired all day. Things are already uncomfortable. My hips hurt and I can't lay on my back because that hurts too.

Food Cravings: Hummus and pita bread.

What I miss: Spicy food. This heartburn doesn't allow for my usually spicy menu.

Looking forward to: Feeling that baby move!

Symptoms: Still have morning sickness but today and yesterday were actually okay. I am not getting my hopes up too high though! And heartburn at night. Zantac is a life saver.

Worst Moment this week: Breaking down the morning Cody went back to school. Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh yeah, and my new sunday school 5 year olds. Some of them are a challenge!

Best Moment this week: Seeing my sister and her kids.

Roller Coaster Ride

Recently we have been taken for a roller coaster ride by my folks. We live in a home that they own (used to be my grandparents) and we pretty much just take care of the place and pay utilities and help with things like taxes and insurance sometimes. The house next to ours was also my grandparents that they built for my great aunt to live in basically until she died or couldn't live there anymore. Once she is unable to live there, the home goes to me (I know, pretty sweet). Well a year ago the Aunt had a stroke and has been living in an assisted living facility ever since. Her son moved into the house to take care of it. He has been living there for free and he takes care of the yard and whatnot.

About a month ago my father decided that neighbor man should start paying rent to us so that way we could keep living in the home we are in now and saving money for the baby and stuff. So that was the plan, and that is what the neighbor man was told as well. Then a week ago my dad suddenly decided that the house we are in now is too much work and we need to move out. (ah!) So now neighbor man is being kicked out and we have to move in in May. (I am due in June, ah!)

Though it is AWESOME that I have a house and that I get to live in it finally, it is a huge amount to figure out and not that great of timing. The house is much smaller so we will be downsizing a lot of our stuff. The house smells like smoke really bad and the carpets need to be replaced. Painting needs to be done and the light fixtures and window treatments really need to be replaced. And did I mention it's kind of tiny? Figuring all of this out is just... stressful! I was planning the nursery in our current house and really looking forward to the extra income, and everything has been flipped upside down. I sound completely ungrateful, I know. I realize that. I totally understand my dad wanting to get rid of the money pit we live in now. And I want to take that burden away from him and also get out of being dependent on him (living in his house, etc). It's just too bad that we got our hopes up about it being one way, and now we have to give it up at such a bad time.

And then there's Cody's woodshop. That is a whole other problem in itself.

Ahh!

I just need to look at the positive and think of all the amazing things we have to be grateful for (which is a lot!). Sorry for the pity party I just threw. But that is what is going on at the moment.

Also I have no idea how to make ribs

So now I needed to tell my husband, Cody. Ever since I was a kid I envisioned telling my husband that I was pregnant with a baby themed dinner a la Full House. Baby back ribs, baby shrimp, baby potatoes, baby corn. But I did not have time to make an amazing baby themed dinner. I needed to tell him quick.

 So I went into the kitchen to find my dear husband making us some Mac n Cheese. I needed to get him out of the kitchen in order to execute my idea. I told him that he could go change into some comfy clothes and I would finish dinner. Like the sweetheart he is, he insisted that he could make it or at least stay and help. I insisted that he at least go take off his shoes. Finally he left and said that he would be back to help. I had to act fast.

I ran to the office and searched like a maniac for a blank piece of paper. None on the desk, it must be in a drawer. The drawer that has this weird antique locking device and it locks up whenever it feels like it. You have to use hulk strength to get it open whenever it does this. However, being the mama bear that I am now, I must use my super pregnancy strength! That drawer didn't stand a chance. I grabbed a paper and a sharpie and quickly wrote "Open Me" on it. I grabbed some tape and ran back to the kitchen. I taped the paper to the oven, found a hamburger bun and put it in the oven. Then I casually leaned against the sink just in time for Cody to walk in.

 

 

After a few seconds Cody noticed the note on the oven. Confused he walked over and opened it. He asked "a little hamburger bun?"  I waited for a moment and asked "There's a little bun in the oven?" He said "Yeah..." He turned around still confused. Then I saw a little hint of understanding register on his face. He smiled and walked toward me and asked "Are you pregnant??" I pulled the positive test from my pocket and showed him. He hugged me and kissed me and then kissed my belly.

The next little while we just sat together in happiness. It was a very very joyous moment and I didn't want it to end. Now the question was "What the heck do we do now?"

The Day We Found Out

One day in October I told Cody that for dinner that night I wanted spaghetti with meat sauce. We usually have meatballs but this time I really wanted ground beef mixed in for some reason. Later that night I was in the office and Cody was in the kitchen starting dinner. Suddenly I smelled something awful. I realized it was the cooking meat.

Cody came into the office and I asked him if the meat smelled like it had gone bad to him. He said no, it smells fine. This excited me a bit. I told him that one of the top 10 signs of pregnancy is food aversions, specifically cooking meat. That night after wanting ground beef so badly, I had to try and pick around the meat to get some sauce. We both wondered and made plans to take a test the next day.

The next day we were going for a drive to see the autumn leaves. We got up that morning and headed out to Right Aid. We got a test and went about our day. We drove up to Cedar Mountain and the colors were beautiful. I collected some leaves to decorate my house. It was a lovely fall day.

Throughout the day I kept coming back to the thought that I just might be pregnant. Was my life going to change that day? Would I cry when I found out? What would I feel if the test were negative? I prepared myself for either result and tried not to get my hopes to high, but I couldn't help but think about the very real possibility of a little one joining us and making us a family.

That night we got home. Cody started making some dinner and I quietly snuck away with my bag of pregnancy test paraphernalia. I closed the door of my room and went into the bathroom and took the test. I carefully set it down according to the instructions not wanting to mess something up. I counted in my head to 3 minutes and didn't let myself look down. Could I even look at it? This could either be life changing or heart-breaking.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. I considered that I might be having a small heart attack. Three minutes came and I picked up the stick that could change our lives forever.

 

I looked down and saw the little pink line that meant that the two of us were not alone that day on our autumn leaves drive.

 

I sat there and stared. I didn't cry, I didn't do anything but stare. I don't know if it didn't really hit me or if it didn't seem real or what but I was a little dazed for a moment. Now what? Now I tell Cody is what. And how would I do that? I would have to make it special for such a momentous...well... moment.

Our Christmas Gift to Us

We had our gender ultrasound on the 20th of December. I read an idea on a message board I follow where a pregnant lady was going to have the ultrasound tech put her gender results in an envelope and then they would open it on Christmas Morning. I read this idea to Cody, not thinking he would really want to wait and to my surprise he said "Let's do it!"

My family was all thinking it would be a girl. I felt like it would be a boy from the beginning but I was definitely not sure at all. I read that whatever you dream it will be, it will be the opposite. In all of my dreams it was a girl, so there was another reason to believe it was a boy.

We went to the appointment and the tech did her thing. We saw a little hand and a creepy face and a spine and a brain. Then she told us to cover our eyes. It didn't take her very long to find it. That also made me think it was a boy because boy parts are probably easier to spot.

We went home and waited and waited and waited. Every time I was in the living room, the mysterious envelope would stare at me and I would stare back. I could know if I just opened it! It was hard to resist but I reminded myself that Christmas would be way more special if we waited.

Christmas morning came and we were so excited. We drew out the anticipation by eating breakfast and opening stockings first. And then the moment came. Cody made me open it. We put it face down on the floor and we both flipped it over at the same time. Ah!

 

I was right! A little bouncing baby boy will be joining us in June.

Cody is very excited to have a little Cody running around soon!