My long awaited laundry room

So remember how I was all excited for my laundry room plans when we moved? Today I finally put the finishing touches on it and it is done. I LOVE it. It's weird how much I love a room meant for chores, but I do.

Check it out!

The color scheme of orange and blue that seems to be carried through most of the house is what I went with in the laundry room as well. How awesome is the orange pocket door?! Thank you, Cody. :)

It is so much more organized than my old laundry space. Cody attached small canning jars to the bottom of a shelf to hold hardware such as nails and screws. I got large jars for detergent and other cleaning supplies and labeled them with chalk board label stickers.

I wanted a place for tools that we use inside the house, so this shelf is dedicated to tools and the like.

I used a railing from Ikea to hang my cleaning supplies on. I seriously love this feature. It is so much easier to find stuff this way. Ah! I love my laundry room!

I'm still alive

Hello!

I am still alive. I have found that doing anything like blogging is really hard to get around to. I do plan to continue blogging but I still haven't quite got the hang of doing much other than feeding, changing, and soothing baby to sleep. Ooh, the elusive sleep. But someday I will hopefully to update this thing on the regular.

So life is different now, obviously. I'm tired and still adjusting to the shock of this new lifestyle. Being a mama is both beautiful and not so beautiful. And I was definitely right about the poop. There is a lot of poop. And pee. More pee than I expected, if I'm being honest. I have been peed on more than I care to admit.

At first things were pretty scary. I have no idea what I am doing and sleep deprivation really got to me. I dealt with "baby blues" which consisted of the highest of highs where I felt such intense love for this little human, and super low lows as well. But now that most of the hormones have worn off and I have gotten over the initial shock of things, I feel like I am getting the hang of it (sort of) and starting to catch my breath (kind of).

Sawyer's birth went differently than planned. Monday I worked my last day at the office, and the next day, 3 days before I was due, I got my membranes swept. I didn't feel much different afterwords and did not expect anything to happen, but that night I started to have the usual  nightly contractions. I felt the need to clean the house as much as I could that night. I mopped and vacuumed and then went to bed pretty late. I was laying in bed, scanning through Facebook, when all of a sudden at 2 am I felt a big pop as if Sawyer kicked me and a huge waterfall suddenly came out of me. I exclaimed to Cody that my water just broke. He was asleep and when he heard me he jumped up and started putting his pants on, still half asleep. It was adorable. I told him to hang on and get me a towel. Seriously, it was a never-ending gush of water and I couldn't move or even more would come out!

Since I wasn't having very strong contractions yet, I didn't want to go to the hospital and not be very far along. I planned to labor as much as I could at home. So I told Cody to go back to sleep and for the rest of the night I did have some contractions, but they never got very bad. We went to labor and delivery the next morning. They checked me and I was at a 5. I was pretty excited about this. And hour later they checked me again and I was a 6. But the nurse seemed a little confused and said that she didn't feel his head anymore. They did an ultrasound and though Sawyer had been head down for weeks and weeks, he decided to flip when it was go time. Since my water had broke, they couldn't attempt to flip him. The doctor said I would have to get a C-section and that we would be parents within the hour. Ah! I had expected to be laboring for quite a bit longer, so this was a scary shock!

The worst part of the surgery was getting the epidural. I was expecting to get one at a point where it would be a sweet relief. But since I wasn't in much pain, it was super uncomfortable and painful, and seemed to take forever.

The rest was like a dream. I felt a little disconnected and weird. Cody sat by me and held my hand while they worked on getting our baby out. Sawyer was pulled out and I didn't get to see him for a while. I wanted to see what he looked like SO BAD! He needed help breathing at first and they took him out into the hall to get him going. Cody followed and watched him get cleaned up. I heard them exclaiming how big he was. One of the nurses guessed 9 pounds. A few minutes later they said he was 10 lbs 6 oz! I suddenly felt a little better about not pushing him out of my vagina. Then Cody brought him to me. I kissed Sawyer and tears rolled down my face. I wanted to hold him!

We went back to our room and they found out that since he was so big, he had low blood sugar. Because they couldn't get him to eat, they had to take him to the NICU where they were going to have to give him a feeding tube. Before they did that though, they tried feeding him again and he sucked down a whole bottle.

We were only there for 2 days and the recovery went really easy. The first week at home was pretty blissful, even though the nights weren't that much fun. I was just so happy to have this beautiful little family. It was like  heaven.

Cody stayed home from work for a week and helped out so much. One of my favorite parts of becoming a mama is watching Cody take so naturally to being a papa. He is an amazing daddy and jumped right in with no fear.

My thoughts at 39 weeks

 

Me, this morning, at 39 weeks pregnant.

I can't believe it. It is the last day of May 2013. In my brain, it's still about February and I still have months to go before I have to worry about pushing a little human out of my body and becoming a mother to him. In reality, next week is my due date and things are moving at light speed.

This is one of my last weeks where I am just me, a 25 year old girl who still feels to be about 18 and certainly does not act like an adult. I'm aware that I am actually a pretty helpless person. I have a lot of learning and growing to do. Honestly, I can barely even make mac and cheese by myself. Yes, things are certainly about to change, whether I am ready or not. I will be completely responsible for another life. A little soul that God has trusted us with. A little person that I know I will obsess over and worry about every day for the rest of my life. Our world is about to make a major shift. A shift that I am most definitely excited about, but there's so much unknown. I really don't know much about babies. All I have to go off of is just what I have been told. A lot of which sounds terrifying. "But so worth it." Right? That is the summary of what people say. It is SO HARD but so worth it. The so hard part is frightening. The so worth it part is why we got ourselves into this situation.

Someone told Cody that babies seem really fragile, but are actually easier to keep alive than fish. I sure hope so, because I have gone through a lot of pet fish in my lifetime. I know I will be ok. I know he will be ok. We will get through the tough parts. I'm pretty sure of this. I am known for my exceptional ability to worry like none other, so that is just how it is going to be. But I will try my best to relax and breath and be a chill mom as much as I can be. That is one of my goals, anyway.

So here is where I am right now, at 39 weeks pregnant: I am standing at the edge of the diving board, looking into a deep pool. I can't see the bottom. I can't turn around and climb down. The only way off is to jump. What will I find? From what I hear, probably a lot of poop. Literal poop. Exploding poop. And throw up. And crying, screaming babies. And sore boobies. And many, many sleepless nights and days filled with fatigue, and maybe even counting down the seconds until Cody gets home from work. This is the kind of thing you always hear about at this pool.

But I am going to jump. And through the poop, I am going to find soft baby cheeks, and tiny saggy baby bums, and chubby leg rolls, and little adorable lips that I will kiss so much. And giggles and cuddles and so many hugs and loves.

And it will be awesome. 

And then, I will make sure that my baby grows up to not be so helpless, and by golly, he will know how to make mac n cheese!

Bumpday Bumpdate - Week 38

This week I am 38 weeks along and feeling it. It's not so bad yet. I haven't had very many Braxton Hicks, except last night they got a little painful for a while. But I can see how pregnant ladies who do have those false labor pains on a regular basis could get sick of this pretty fast.

The #1 thing I hear from people at this point are things like "About ready to pop, huh?" or "I bet you are so ready to be done." Up until last weekend, the answer was "Heck no! The baby can stay in there, I am not ready!!!" Now that I have really gotten somewhere with the nursery and packed some of my hospital bag, I am definitely more open to the baby coming now, but I am still in no hurry. Life will be changing forever, and I still have a lot to do to prepare. But I have washed and put away all of the laundry for baby, we have the crib and bedding done, and it is really coming together in there and looking like a real live nursery.

Today Cody will be starting to work on picture frames for some of the art I found for the nursery, as well as a painting my mom did. Hopefully he will be building some wall book shelves for all of the books I have for the Soy Bean as well. I can't wait to read to him!

In moving news, the house is getting a lot better. I have tons and tons of boxes unpacked and put away, and guess what? The A/C has decided to start working. The unit outside makes a really loud noise that sounds like what can only be described as Bigfoot yawning. It freaks me out every time, and I am pretty sure that sound isn't supposed to happen, but as of now, it is working, and that is heaven. I can't even tell you how much better my perspective on life is when my house is a normal temperature. I love my house a lot more now.

When I am on my way home, I still sort of have this longing feeling for the other house, because we were there for quite a while and it did become "home" to us, plus my grandparents lived there and that was somehow comforting to me, despite the perpetual old person smell. Now I pass that house, and go to a new one that is not "home" quite yet. It feels weird. Someday though, I will feel more comfortable in the new house and it will become home for my little family and me. For now, I just jump at every night time sound that happens, and freak out a little if my lulu dog barks. I have a hard time adjusting to new houses! Especially because I am alone at night every other week. It took me about a year with the last house to feel okay, and even after that I would go through periods of time where I was sure (and STILL am) that a ghosty presence was messing with me. At this house, so far what I worry about are doors getting left unlocked and intruders coming in, or wanderers in my back yard, watching me unpack at night because I feel like someone is looking at me. And also fires happening. I am really paranoid about that lately. It's not like this house has been inspected and who knows if there is something waiting to explode? I am a worrier.

Here are my weekly stats!

How far along: 38 Weeks

Size of baby: 20-ish inches and pumpkin sized.

Gender: Boy!

Maternity Clothes: Pretty much just wearing long dresses most of the time. Today though, I am wearing one of my sisters hand-me-downs that I forgot about until I found it the other day. I wish I had worn it sooner! It is really cute and work appropriate. All I can wear on my feet are flip flops as they are constantly swollen.

Stretch Marks: Still getting more!

Sleep: The original restless insomnia flavor, now with contractions!

Cravings: Watermelon.

Looking forward to: Still really really wanting work to be done. Especially when I wake up feeling zombified in the morning from crappy sleep. I never thought I would be the person who works up until 4 days before my due date and I think that ideally, last week should have been my last. But I get to spend more time with work friends, and thats what is keeping me going! Along with paychecks, of course.

What I miss: Moving and bending without wimpering in pain and losing my breath.

Symptoms: Some recognizable, painful contractions. As of yesterday, I am 2 centimeters dilated and about 60% effaced. The doctor wants to sweep my membranes next week, but I know that Cody and I are not ready for that to happen if it actually worked. We are really trying to work this birth around Cody's schedule and it's a lot of pressure!

Worst moment this week: Probably the night that I unpacked and put away so much crap that my body rebelled against me and I was in TONS of PAIN all night.

Best moment this week: Seeing things like the living room, kitchen, bathroom, guest room and most of all the nursery actually look like livable, pretty spaces. It is a huge relief to have the important nursery stuff done.

Shopping for Baby

Last month I finally got to start shopping for my baby. Cody wanted to wait until we had enough money to just put it all in its own baby-dedicated account, and then let me spend it on what we needed. It was really hard to wait, but finally buying everything was pretty fun.

Here are a few of the items I got for the bebe:

Bear clock. The one I got is orange, though.

 

Cowboys and Indians Wall Decal.

  

Baby closet dividers. They are from newborn all the way up to 24 months. I like organization kind of a lot lately and these are helping a lot.

An orange humidifier.

Some cute "burpy bibs" by Aden + Anais. They double as burp clothes and bibs and from what I hear are awesome.

 

And a Boon diaper Changing Station. I love Boon stuff.

The rest of the stuff I got is practical and boring but pretty exciting to me. I also finally convinced Cody that he was not going to have time to build a crib anytime soon and I was able to fit one from Wal-Mart into my budget, which I am pretty proud of. Go me. It is small (for the tiny nursery space) and modern and I love it.

A lot of the stuff that I ended up getting is pretty modern-styled, as you can see. In the beginning, the nursery was to be very rustic and vintage, and there will still be a lot of those elements in the decor. Hopefully I am right, and the two different styles will mesh well together.

 I also got lots of baby books and some Baby Einstein DVD's. We are also blessed enough to have received a lot of good gifts and hand-me-downs that are pretty much saving me right now. I can't wait to use all this stuff with my new little guy!

38 Weeks - My Giant Belly

It is Friday and I am now at the 38 week mark! Only 2 weeks until the due date. I do not have my nursery done, I do not have my hospital bag packed. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and saw that my mid-section has grown horizontally quite a bit recently. I feel and look humungous. And I keep running it into things because I am not used to the extra inches I guess, plus there are kind of a lot of obstacles in the way in my house right now (boxes!) I feel bad for Sawyer getting all beat up in there because of my clumsy-ness.

These photos are here to express my feelings of being so very large.

 

Adventures in Home Ownership

Let me just start out by saying that I actually love my house and I think it is the bomb and I know I am blessed.


However, just because you own a house, does not mean you have any money whatsoever. And owning something so big and grown up with so many things that could (and will) go wrong is a huge responsibility. This is new to me and will be an adjustment. We are about to cut our income in half and we are pretty much broke. To be honest, I am SO scared. Throw a newborn in the mix and you have yourself a recipe for a total panic attack. So, hate me all you want for complaining about it, but please keep in mind that I am under serious stress, plus, you know, hormones and stuff, and I need to talk about it.

Here is what has happened so far in our new life as home-owners:

The A/C or insulation or SOMETHING is not working right. It is hot. I live in Southern Utah. And being that it is only May, I am real real scared of it being August in that house. As of now, it is sometimes 80 degrees in the house. Just thinking about going home from work right now makes me feel a little bit like crying. Last night I couldn't take it anymore and had a total meltdown. I don't do well in heat, I guess. :)

Next, we have bugs. Mostly just big roaches and tiny sugar ants. We thought we had the ant problem under control by using these ant baits, which work pretty well. But then. We left the dog food out. Last night I looked down at the dog food dish and there were about 500 ants all over it. We put 2 of those baits down and they were all over them in no time, and usually it takes them a couple of days to get into the poison. These little jerks are everywhere. I see them in every room. A couple of weeks ago, I put my bassinet in my bedroom. I walked into the room a few minutes later and there were ants crawling on it. That is disturbing.

Half the sprinklers don't come on and we don't know why. The water softener leaks like crazy and things in the garage are rusting from it. And things generally just need to be replaced. I mean, the house was built in the 90's. Updating is definitely needed. Someone please tell me: why, at one point, was brass the coolest metal ever?

And something I have discovered about myself in the last weeks: I don't know how to function without a central vac. I have had one for forever. How do I take care of bugs now? How do I clean stuff of of tall ceilings, or random places like the top of a couch? How do non-central vac owners do it??

Lastly, I think someone reported our yard for not being mowed during the process of getting the house ready. It has been very well maintained for years. Then for about a month, when we were preparing the inside of the house, the lawn didn't get mowed quite as regularly. So the city code enforcers came by the house, took pictures of our lawn, and then sent them to us in a "courtesy notice" saying that they would be coming by to inspect the yard to make sure the problem is taken care of. The notice was for "weeds/fire hazardous materials." In reality, we just needed to mow the lawn but hadn't had a chance yet. Seriously. Green, admittedly shaggy grass. No weeds. Ok fine, ONE weed. A green one.

To quote Drunk Uncle:

wwww.isthisreallyAmerica.questionmark.noitisn't.IMMIGRANTS

You know, without the immigrants part.

If someone did report us, that upsets me. I guess it is something that I wouldn't do to a neighbor unless their yard was being treated like a landfill AND the people were also rude. But to report us for some long grass (which we had already taken care of days before we received the notice) during a transition phase? Not to mention I have been out there mowing it in the heat with my giant pregnant belly and it's not like anyone offered to help, ya know? I would like to think that people in this community have the decency to think about what is going on in their neighbors lives before they call up the city and report them. But of course they don't. There is actually a yard kitty-corner from us that is mostly weeds. Our yard is nothing compared to that yard. I don't get how my shaggy grass could get reported while being two doors down from that yard. How does the city even see my yard and think, oh, yeah, this is a problem. Where is the camera?

Ahhh. Anyway. I am trying to not assume that it was a neighbor that reported us, but it most likely was. That makes me feel unwelcome and uncomfortable on my own property. It was probably an old grumpy codger and someone that I don't need to waste energy worrying about. Because I know that most of the people who live around me are really good people, and would probably just come over and mow it themselves if it really bothered them.

In conclusion, while there are things in this house that I can't stand, like tiny rooms and microscopic bathrooms and closets, I still do love so much about it. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I really, really understand that it is a huge deal to have a house and that maybe you want to punch my face right now. Like I said, I am just scared out of my mind as to how we are going to afford it on no money. Did I mention that I am worried about money? And we are about to have a baby. And I have no money. I can't stress enough how much money we are about to NOT have. What do I do?

But hey. When it is not 80 degrees in my living room, here are some things that I love about my house:

• My kitchen window. I love having a window in front of my kitchen sink. It overlooks the back yard. This morning the sunlight coming through was so pretty.
• My walls. Cody painted them like a pro and they look great. I have had white walls all my life and was scared to put color on them, but now I can't imagine having white walls (although I do still totally appreciate some really clean white walls with white linens. That is usually my style).
• My carpet. New carpet is awesome.
• My beautiful kitchen. Cody painted the ugly oak cabinets white, the walls light blue, and the pocket doors to the laundry room and pantry a really cute "orange spice" color. I love those doors!
•  I have an actual pantry now instead of a glorified cupboard.
• I have an awesome magnolia tree and it is in bloom right now.
• There is a robin's nest in the backyard with little beaks sticking out of it. The mama robin is always hopping around the yard getting worms, and feeding them constantly. And in another tree there is a mama dove sitting on her nest that has little tiny squeeky bird sounds coming out of it! It's precious.
• Ceiling fan in the bedroom. It's a big deal.
• A shower that I can actually move in! And the shower head is ABOVE my head, another big deal for tall people.
• It's ours. It is OUR HOUSE. A real live house. And I am about to start a family in it. That is pretty amazing.
•  Cody is there, and as long as that man is there, Everything is OK.

Also, this: