I am still alive. I have found that doing anything like blogging is really hard to get around to. I do plan to continue blogging but I still haven't quite got the hang of doing much other than feeding, changing, and soothing baby to sleep. Ooh, the elusive sleep. But someday I will hopefully to update this thing on the regular.
So life is different now, obviously. I'm tired and still adjusting to the shock of this new lifestyle. Being a mama is both beautiful and not so beautiful. And I was definitely right about the poop. There is a lot of poop. And pee. More pee than I expected, if I'm being honest. I have been peed on more than I care to admit.
At first things were pretty scary. I have no idea what I am doing and sleep deprivation really got to me. I dealt with "baby blues" which consisted of the highest of highs where I felt such intense love for this little human, and super low lows as well. But now that most of the hormones have worn off and I have gotten over the initial shock of things, I feel like I am getting the hang of it (sort of) and starting to catch my breath (kind of).
Sawyer's birth went differently than planned. Monday I worked my last day at the office, and the next day, 3 days before I was due, I got my membranes swept. I didn't feel much different afterwords and did not expect anything to happen, but that night I started to have the usual nightly contractions. I felt the need to clean the house as much as I could that night. I mopped and vacuumed and then went to bed pretty late. I was laying in bed, scanning through Facebook, when all of a sudden at 2 am I felt a big pop as if Sawyer kicked me and a huge waterfall suddenly came out of me. I exclaimed to Cody that my water just broke. He was asleep and when he heard me he jumped up and started putting his pants on, still half asleep. It was adorable. I told him to hang on and get me a towel. Seriously, it was a never-ending gush of water and I couldn't move or even more would come out!
Since I wasn't having very strong contractions yet, I didn't want to go to the hospital and not be very far along. I planned to labor as much as I could at home. So I told Cody to go back to sleep and for the rest of the night I did have some contractions, but they never got very bad. We went to labor and delivery the next morning. They checked me and I was at a 5. I was pretty excited about this. And hour later they checked me again and I was a 6. But the nurse seemed a little confused and said that she didn't feel his head anymore. They did an ultrasound and though Sawyer had been head down for weeks and weeks, he decided to flip when it was go time. Since my water had broke, they couldn't attempt to flip him. The doctor said I would have to get a C-section and that we would be parents within the hour. Ah! I had expected to be laboring for quite a bit longer, so this was a scary shock!
The worst part of the surgery was getting the epidural. I was expecting to get one at a point where it would be a sweet relief. But since I wasn't in much pain, it was super uncomfortable and painful, and seemed to take forever.
The rest was like a dream. I felt a little disconnected and weird. Cody sat by me and held my hand while they worked on getting our baby out. Sawyer was pulled out and I didn't get to see him for a while. I wanted to see what he looked like SO BAD! He needed help breathing at first and they took him out into the hall to get him going. Cody followed and watched him get cleaned up. I heard them exclaiming how big he was. One of the nurses guessed 9 pounds. A few minutes later they said he was 10 lbs 6 oz! I suddenly felt a little better about not pushing him out of my vagina. Then Cody brought him to me. I kissed Sawyer and tears rolled down my face. I wanted to hold him!
We went back to our room and they found out that since he was so big, he had low blood sugar. Because they couldn't get him to eat, they had to take him to the NICU where they were going to have to give him a feeding tube. Before they did that though, they tried feeding him again and he sucked down a whole bottle.
We were only there for 2 days and the recovery went really easy. The first week at home was pretty blissful, even though the nights weren't that much fun. I was just so happy to have this beautiful little family. It was like heaven.
Cody stayed home from work for a week and helped out so much. One of my favorite parts of becoming a mama is watching Cody take so naturally to being a papa. He is an amazing daddy and jumped right in with no fear.