My thoughts at 39 weeks

 

Me, this morning, at 39 weeks pregnant.

I can't believe it. It is the last day of May 2013. In my brain, it's still about February and I still have months to go before I have to worry about pushing a little human out of my body and becoming a mother to him. In reality, next week is my due date and things are moving at light speed.

This is one of my last weeks where I am just me, a 25 year old girl who still feels to be about 18 and certainly does not act like an adult. I'm aware that I am actually a pretty helpless person. I have a lot of learning and growing to do. Honestly, I can barely even make mac and cheese by myself. Yes, things are certainly about to change, whether I am ready or not. I will be completely responsible for another life. A little soul that God has trusted us with. A little person that I know I will obsess over and worry about every day for the rest of my life. Our world is about to make a major shift. A shift that I am most definitely excited about, but there's so much unknown. I really don't know much about babies. All I have to go off of is just what I have been told. A lot of which sounds terrifying. "But so worth it." Right? That is the summary of what people say. It is SO HARD but so worth it. The so hard part is frightening. The so worth it part is why we got ourselves into this situation.

Someone told Cody that babies seem really fragile, but are actually easier to keep alive than fish. I sure hope so, because I have gone through a lot of pet fish in my lifetime. I know I will be ok. I know he will be ok. We will get through the tough parts. I'm pretty sure of this. I am known for my exceptional ability to worry like none other, so that is just how it is going to be. But I will try my best to relax and breath and be a chill mom as much as I can be. That is one of my goals, anyway.

So here is where I am right now, at 39 weeks pregnant: I am standing at the edge of the diving board, looking into a deep pool. I can't see the bottom. I can't turn around and climb down. The only way off is to jump. What will I find? From what I hear, probably a lot of poop. Literal poop. Exploding poop. And throw up. And crying, screaming babies. And sore boobies. And many, many sleepless nights and days filled with fatigue, and maybe even counting down the seconds until Cody gets home from work. This is the kind of thing you always hear about at this pool.

But I am going to jump. And through the poop, I am going to find soft baby cheeks, and tiny saggy baby bums, and chubby leg rolls, and little adorable lips that I will kiss so much. And giggles and cuddles and so many hugs and loves.

And it will be awesome. 

And then, I will make sure that my baby grows up to not be so helpless, and by golly, he will know how to make mac n cheese!

Bumpday Bumpdate - Week 38

This week I am 38 weeks along and feeling it. It's not so bad yet. I haven't had very many Braxton Hicks, except last night they got a little painful for a while. But I can see how pregnant ladies who do have those false labor pains on a regular basis could get sick of this pretty fast.

The #1 thing I hear from people at this point are things like "About ready to pop, huh?" or "I bet you are so ready to be done." Up until last weekend, the answer was "Heck no! The baby can stay in there, I am not ready!!!" Now that I have really gotten somewhere with the nursery and packed some of my hospital bag, I am definitely more open to the baby coming now, but I am still in no hurry. Life will be changing forever, and I still have a lot to do to prepare. But I have washed and put away all of the laundry for baby, we have the crib and bedding done, and it is really coming together in there and looking like a real live nursery.

Today Cody will be starting to work on picture frames for some of the art I found for the nursery, as well as a painting my mom did. Hopefully he will be building some wall book shelves for all of the books I have for the Soy Bean as well. I can't wait to read to him!

In moving news, the house is getting a lot better. I have tons and tons of boxes unpacked and put away, and guess what? The A/C has decided to start working. The unit outside makes a really loud noise that sounds like what can only be described as Bigfoot yawning. It freaks me out every time, and I am pretty sure that sound isn't supposed to happen, but as of now, it is working, and that is heaven. I can't even tell you how much better my perspective on life is when my house is a normal temperature. I love my house a lot more now.

When I am on my way home, I still sort of have this longing feeling for the other house, because we were there for quite a while and it did become "home" to us, plus my grandparents lived there and that was somehow comforting to me, despite the perpetual old person smell. Now I pass that house, and go to a new one that is not "home" quite yet. It feels weird. Someday though, I will feel more comfortable in the new house and it will become home for my little family and me. For now, I just jump at every night time sound that happens, and freak out a little if my lulu dog barks. I have a hard time adjusting to new houses! Especially because I am alone at night every other week. It took me about a year with the last house to feel okay, and even after that I would go through periods of time where I was sure (and STILL am) that a ghosty presence was messing with me. At this house, so far what I worry about are doors getting left unlocked and intruders coming in, or wanderers in my back yard, watching me unpack at night because I feel like someone is looking at me. And also fires happening. I am really paranoid about that lately. It's not like this house has been inspected and who knows if there is something waiting to explode? I am a worrier.

Here are my weekly stats!

How far along: 38 Weeks

Size of baby: 20-ish inches and pumpkin sized.

Gender: Boy!

Maternity Clothes: Pretty much just wearing long dresses most of the time. Today though, I am wearing one of my sisters hand-me-downs that I forgot about until I found it the other day. I wish I had worn it sooner! It is really cute and work appropriate. All I can wear on my feet are flip flops as they are constantly swollen.

Stretch Marks: Still getting more!

Sleep: The original restless insomnia flavor, now with contractions!

Cravings: Watermelon.

Looking forward to: Still really really wanting work to be done. Especially when I wake up feeling zombified in the morning from crappy sleep. I never thought I would be the person who works up until 4 days before my due date and I think that ideally, last week should have been my last. But I get to spend more time with work friends, and thats what is keeping me going! Along with paychecks, of course.

What I miss: Moving and bending without wimpering in pain and losing my breath.

Symptoms: Some recognizable, painful contractions. As of yesterday, I am 2 centimeters dilated and about 60% effaced. The doctor wants to sweep my membranes next week, but I know that Cody and I are not ready for that to happen if it actually worked. We are really trying to work this birth around Cody's schedule and it's a lot of pressure!

Worst moment this week: Probably the night that I unpacked and put away so much crap that my body rebelled against me and I was in TONS of PAIN all night.

Best moment this week: Seeing things like the living room, kitchen, bathroom, guest room and most of all the nursery actually look like livable, pretty spaces. It is a huge relief to have the important nursery stuff done.

Shopping for Baby

Last month I finally got to start shopping for my baby. Cody wanted to wait until we had enough money to just put it all in its own baby-dedicated account, and then let me spend it on what we needed. It was really hard to wait, but finally buying everything was pretty fun.

Here are a few of the items I got for the bebe:

Bear clock. The one I got is orange, though.

 

Cowboys and Indians Wall Decal.

  

Baby closet dividers. They are from newborn all the way up to 24 months. I like organization kind of a lot lately and these are helping a lot.

An orange humidifier.

Some cute "burpy bibs" by Aden + Anais. They double as burp clothes and bibs and from what I hear are awesome.

 

And a Boon diaper Changing Station. I love Boon stuff.

The rest of the stuff I got is practical and boring but pretty exciting to me. I also finally convinced Cody that he was not going to have time to build a crib anytime soon and I was able to fit one from Wal-Mart into my budget, which I am pretty proud of. Go me. It is small (for the tiny nursery space) and modern and I love it.

A lot of the stuff that I ended up getting is pretty modern-styled, as you can see. In the beginning, the nursery was to be very rustic and vintage, and there will still be a lot of those elements in the decor. Hopefully I am right, and the two different styles will mesh well together.

 I also got lots of baby books and some Baby Einstein DVD's. We are also blessed enough to have received a lot of good gifts and hand-me-downs that are pretty much saving me right now. I can't wait to use all this stuff with my new little guy!

38 Weeks - My Giant Belly

It is Friday and I am now at the 38 week mark! Only 2 weeks until the due date. I do not have my nursery done, I do not have my hospital bag packed. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and saw that my mid-section has grown horizontally quite a bit recently. I feel and look humungous. And I keep running it into things because I am not used to the extra inches I guess, plus there are kind of a lot of obstacles in the way in my house right now (boxes!) I feel bad for Sawyer getting all beat up in there because of my clumsy-ness.

These photos are here to express my feelings of being so very large.

 

Adventures in Home Ownership

Let me just start out by saying that I actually love my house and I think it is the bomb and I know I am blessed.


However, just because you own a house, does not mean you have any money whatsoever. And owning something so big and grown up with so many things that could (and will) go wrong is a huge responsibility. This is new to me and will be an adjustment. We are about to cut our income in half and we are pretty much broke. To be honest, I am SO scared. Throw a newborn in the mix and you have yourself a recipe for a total panic attack. So, hate me all you want for complaining about it, but please keep in mind that I am under serious stress, plus, you know, hormones and stuff, and I need to talk about it.

Here is what has happened so far in our new life as home-owners:

The A/C or insulation or SOMETHING is not working right. It is hot. I live in Southern Utah. And being that it is only May, I am real real scared of it being August in that house. As of now, it is sometimes 80 degrees in the house. Just thinking about going home from work right now makes me feel a little bit like crying. Last night I couldn't take it anymore and had a total meltdown. I don't do well in heat, I guess. :)

Next, we have bugs. Mostly just big roaches and tiny sugar ants. We thought we had the ant problem under control by using these ant baits, which work pretty well. But then. We left the dog food out. Last night I looked down at the dog food dish and there were about 500 ants all over it. We put 2 of those baits down and they were all over them in no time, and usually it takes them a couple of days to get into the poison. These little jerks are everywhere. I see them in every room. A couple of weeks ago, I put my bassinet in my bedroom. I walked into the room a few minutes later and there were ants crawling on it. That is disturbing.

Half the sprinklers don't come on and we don't know why. The water softener leaks like crazy and things in the garage are rusting from it. And things generally just need to be replaced. I mean, the house was built in the 90's. Updating is definitely needed. Someone please tell me: why, at one point, was brass the coolest metal ever?

And something I have discovered about myself in the last weeks: I don't know how to function without a central vac. I have had one for forever. How do I take care of bugs now? How do I clean stuff of of tall ceilings, or random places like the top of a couch? How do non-central vac owners do it??

Lastly, I think someone reported our yard for not being mowed during the process of getting the house ready. It has been very well maintained for years. Then for about a month, when we were preparing the inside of the house, the lawn didn't get mowed quite as regularly. So the city code enforcers came by the house, took pictures of our lawn, and then sent them to us in a "courtesy notice" saying that they would be coming by to inspect the yard to make sure the problem is taken care of. The notice was for "weeds/fire hazardous materials." In reality, we just needed to mow the lawn but hadn't had a chance yet. Seriously. Green, admittedly shaggy grass. No weeds. Ok fine, ONE weed. A green one.

To quote Drunk Uncle:

wwww.isthisreallyAmerica.questionmark.noitisn't.IMMIGRANTS

You know, without the immigrants part.

If someone did report us, that upsets me. I guess it is something that I wouldn't do to a neighbor unless their yard was being treated like a landfill AND the people were also rude. But to report us for some long grass (which we had already taken care of days before we received the notice) during a transition phase? Not to mention I have been out there mowing it in the heat with my giant pregnant belly and it's not like anyone offered to help, ya know? I would like to think that people in this community have the decency to think about what is going on in their neighbors lives before they call up the city and report them. But of course they don't. There is actually a yard kitty-corner from us that is mostly weeds. Our yard is nothing compared to that yard. I don't get how my shaggy grass could get reported while being two doors down from that yard. How does the city even see my yard and think, oh, yeah, this is a problem. Where is the camera?

Ahhh. Anyway. I am trying to not assume that it was a neighbor that reported us, but it most likely was. That makes me feel unwelcome and uncomfortable on my own property. It was probably an old grumpy codger and someone that I don't need to waste energy worrying about. Because I know that most of the people who live around me are really good people, and would probably just come over and mow it themselves if it really bothered them.

In conclusion, while there are things in this house that I can't stand, like tiny rooms and microscopic bathrooms and closets, I still do love so much about it. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I really, really understand that it is a huge deal to have a house and that maybe you want to punch my face right now. Like I said, I am just scared out of my mind as to how we are going to afford it on no money. Did I mention that I am worried about money? And we are about to have a baby. And I have no money. I can't stress enough how much money we are about to NOT have. What do I do?

But hey. When it is not 80 degrees in my living room, here are some things that I love about my house:

• My kitchen window. I love having a window in front of my kitchen sink. It overlooks the back yard. This morning the sunlight coming through was so pretty.
• My walls. Cody painted them like a pro and they look great. I have had white walls all my life and was scared to put color on them, but now I can't imagine having white walls (although I do still totally appreciate some really clean white walls with white linens. That is usually my style).
• My carpet. New carpet is awesome.
• My beautiful kitchen. Cody painted the ugly oak cabinets white, the walls light blue, and the pocket doors to the laundry room and pantry a really cute "orange spice" color. I love those doors!
•  I have an actual pantry now instead of a glorified cupboard.
• I have an awesome magnolia tree and it is in bloom right now.
• There is a robin's nest in the backyard with little beaks sticking out of it. The mama robin is always hopping around the yard getting worms, and feeding them constantly. And in another tree there is a mama dove sitting on her nest that has little tiny squeeky bird sounds coming out of it! It's precious.
• Ceiling fan in the bedroom. It's a big deal.
• A shower that I can actually move in! And the shower head is ABOVE my head, another big deal for tall people.
• It's ours. It is OUR HOUSE. A real live house. And I am about to start a family in it. That is pretty amazing.
•  Cody is there, and as long as that man is there, Everything is OK.

Also, this:

Bumpday Bumpdate - Week 37

Well, we are moved to the new house. Everything is in shambles and I feel like I am living in a hoarders house with the way I have to scoot around everything to get from room to room. But we made it!

This week I am 37 weeks along and feeling very VERY swollen. The new house doesn't cool off so well and it is getting hotter and hotter outside. Yesterday and the day before, my feet and ankles became so swollen that I had a really hard time getting up from sitting because they couldn't bend. The doctor says everything still looks normal, the babies head is still down, and I am at about a 2 and 70% effaced. I think I have been feeling some really really mild braxton hicks contractions that give me a little crampy feeling. Exciting!

I am getting more and more nervous about the labor process. The whole thing seems really overwhelming. I haven't even packed my hospital bag because everything is still in boxes, including my hospital bag packing list! haha. And I feel SO not ready still because I can barely even walk into the nursery due to it being so full of baby stuff that needs to be put together/organized. So please, baby boy, don't come out yet!

Here are my weekly stats -

How far along: 37 Weeks

Size of baby: About 20 inches and 7 pounds.

Gender: Boy

Maternity Clothes: Clothes are so overrated. I WANT to feel cute, but I also just want to wear what is comfortable, which isn't the most flattering. It doesn't matter to me at this point. Comfort is essential.

Stretch Marks: Now the stretch marks are getting FATTER. Yaaay.

Sleep: I haven't slept much for a while. I know I am supposed to "get my sleep while I still can" but my body just doesn't allow that to happen. Especially with the stress of moving and dreams about everything that needs to get done.

Cravings: Water.

Looking forward to: No more work. It is so hard to go now and by the middle of the day I can't feel my feet because they are so swollen. Thank goodness I have an office job. How do those pregnant women who work in places that require standing and walking make it so far?? At the same time though, I will seriously miss a few people here, and it's actually going to be really hard to leave them.

What I miss: Air conditioning that works. And it's only May!! What the heck am I going to do in August?

Symptoms: Swelling beyond recognition. Sometimes I look down at my feet and they look like a 500 pound woman's feet, not mine. My feet hurt all the time. As do my hands which I guess is also due to swelling. My back is a little better though.

Worst moment this week: Moving was the worst. Ever. EVER.

Best moment this week: Monday was my birthday and we got to get out of the house and go to lunch and a movie. And we ate cheesecake. It was so nice just to spend time with Cody and try not to think about everything that needed to be unpacked.

Bumpday Bumpdate - 36 Weeks

I am 36 weeks along. I haven't had any contractions (that I know of) and the doctor says I am about a centimeter dialated.

I have been trying my best to pack boxes little by little, and I am excited/nervous to live in a different house. I will probably think it's haunted for a year or so, just cause that is how I roll. Meanwhile, things are getting moved into the nursery. We got the crib, finally, which we will set up next week, and I have done a little drawer organizing in the beautiful dresser Cody made for Sawyer.

 I bought a bunch of storage tupperwares and put them in some of the drawers. They hold diaper changing supplies and bath supplies and tiny shoes and socks and burp cloths and all that stuff that I am dreadfully excited about.


How far along: 36 Weeks

Size of baby: 19 inches long, about 6 1/2 pounds. Honeydew Melon.

Gender: Still boy

Maternity Clothes: 3 words - I HATE PANTS.

Stretch Marks: Yes. New ones appearing on my legs, hooray!

Sleep: I take lots of naps because I am always tired. My body still loves to wake up at about 4 am for no reason.

Cravings: You know how some pregnant women want to eat rocks or chalk or dirt? I don't have that problem, but I do crave smells. Like, clean smells. Sometimes I walk into my laundry area and just smell the box of bounce sheets, several times a day. Or at the store, even if I don't need anything, I will walk down the laundry and cleaning product isle and just inhale the lovely smells. Spic n Span is another favorite scent. And it's not like I am huffing the stuff, btw. But it makes having to clean a little nicer when I can enjoy the smell.

Looking forward to: We are moving this weekend and my birthday is Monday, so I am looking forward to being DONE with moving and having a hopefully relaxing bday. And cake.

What I miss: The cooler weather! 98 degree weather is bad enough without being a big fat preggo.

Symptoms: Heart burn/acid reflux is getting worse and it wakes me up at night. Leg pain. Foot pain. Everything is protesting because of all the weight.

Worst moment this week: Emotional breakdowns. Two of them. The combination of hormones and the stress of moving sure is fantastic!

Best moment this week: Two great moments this week - The awesome people at my work threw a little party for me to say bye and congrats. We had catered Cafe Rio and it was really nice to have one last little party with these people. I will miss them!

And on Saturday night I went to Cody's work (the hospital) to have lunch with him. He has his "lunch break" at 12:30 am. I figured that I probably won't have another opportunity to have lunch with him at his work, so I dragged myself out of the house at midnight and got some Taco Bell for us. I got to see where he works and what he does. It was fun to do something different, at a weird time of night when I am usually not out, and see my sweetheart in a different environment. And also, the hospital had a nice, clean smell. :) And a robot! (The robot helps with the drug distribution (or something) and was actually kind of scary because it moved so fast and was loud. That thing could really do some damage if it went crazy.)

So that is pretty much it for now. A few weeks ago my baby updater told me that the baby can start to form memories now, and that I should sing songs to him now so he can remember them and be comforted by them outside the womb. So every night I try to sing a few songs to him. Hopefully he is paying attention! :)

Laundry Room Clothes Pin Wreath

This week is moving week (hopefully). One thing that I am excited about is my little laundry space in the new house. I have never had an actual room for a washer and dryer, only the kind that fit in a closet. I've seen so many ideas online for making the laundry room a cute and functional space, and I am very anxious to take a crack at it.

Much of my house will have an orange and light blue color scheme to it, including the laundry room. The walls are light blue, and this weekend I made a "laundry wreath" to hang in there. I got the idea here.

It turned out great and was easy and fun to make.

I also made one for my dear friend Carie. She is getting married and I wanted to put together a fun gift basket for her bridal gift. I'm pretty sure she likes teal and brown, so I did the basket with those colors in mind.

Along with the wreath, the basket included brown bath towels, teal hand towels, bounce sheets, (my favorite!) a tide pen, shout (my favorite!) and some teal hangers. I was pretty proud of how cute it turned out. Hopefully Carie can use it!

Time Slow DOWN!!!

Hi there! I am 36 weeks along as of Friday and I can't believe it! Even though I have been "with child" for a good 8 months now, it is still not really real to me. Every once in a while I get hit with the realization that it is real, and I have less than 4 weeks to the due date, and what the heck am I going to do with a BABY?! And I am SO UNPREPARED! and AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I know I have been feeling him move in there (and lately it has been getting pretty uncomfortable in that department) for many, many weeks, but for some reason, part of my brain sees those movements as just my little tummy friend who says hello throughout the day, and not a HUMAN BABY that has to COME OUT soon.

I know this is what I wanted for a long long long time, but now its here and I am scared. What the heck have we done? Haha.

And at the same time I can't wait to have a little bitty baby boy to take care of and finally start the job that I have been waiting to do since forever. And I have made progress I think. Normally I am not really that interested in other peoples babies and little kids, unless there is an exceptionally cute one around. But now? When I see them I kinda want to squish them, like I notice normal women wanting to do. So that is a step forward! Right?! My good friend Randi's new baby is a good example. I went to visit her new kiddo, got to hold him and see all of his tiny little features and it made me so excited! That doesn't happen with me and babies! So I must be becoming a mom, I guess. Or at least getting closer. :)

Meanwhile, in my belly, Sawyer's movements have evolved. He has gotten pretty big, and his movements are less like jabs and more like long stretches now. Like he is trying to get out through my skin. And when he gets me in the ribs, man that feels... not great. Like uncomfortable, not nice, tickling from my insides. Sometimes I will just watch him push out his knee/elbow/whatever the heck that is SO FAR. It looks and feels insane. I still like it though, even though it is not fun sometimes.

Yesterday was mother's day. I was interested to see if Cody was going to acknowledge that at all for me, since I am sort of almost a mom, but also not. He did surprise me with some of my favorite juice from his work with a sweet note telling me Happy Mother's Day. It was very nice and appreciated!

Here is what my belly usually looks like in the evening. Surrounded by fur babies!

 

I hear that some people think that their pets can tell that they are pregnant, or that change is coming. I don't think my cats have any clue. Regan walks right on top of poor Sawyer ALL THE TIME. Dang cat.

The ever-growing belly... 35 Weeks

It's been a while since I took any real photos of the bump, mostly because I do not feel so cute right now, and it's becoming difficult to make myself look put together and pretty enough to have a photo taken of myself. But for the sake of documentation, I tried a little bit today to look decent.

Here is my belly today, at 35 weeks and 5 days.

 

There's about 6 pounds of baby in there!

  

Also, every day I get to wake up to giant, swollen feet. Look how pretty!

At least I got my toes re-done yesterday, those actually do look cute! The big toes have a white a silver feather painted on them.Next time I go in, if it is before the delivery, I think I will request an ice cold foot soak in the pedicure tub! That sounds pretty much AMAZING.

 {Please do excuse my dirty shoes. They are one of only two pairs that my feet fit into! 
Maybe I should think about cleaning them, though.}


And just for fun, here is the belly side by side with the 25 week photo. 10 whole weeks ago. I miss those days!

35 Weeks - What in the??

Today I am 35 weeks pregnant. Only 5 weeks until the due date. This is really scary. I would probably feel a lot more ready if we were moved into the new house but alas, that won't be happening for a couple of weeks, and I am just wishing I had a little more time before baby joins us. I am expecting to go late because I just don't think my body is going to do anything labor-y any time soon. I haven't had any Braxton Hicks (that I know of) and everyone in my family has their babies pretty late, so that is what I am preparing for.

The house is coming along, we will have all of the walls painted today, the carpet went in a couple days ago, we have our new fridge installed, and it's looking like a house that I actually can't wait to live in! The paint and carpet made such a huge difference. And it doesn't smell like smoke in there anymore, so that is a huge accomplishment. Now we just need to get the cabinets painted and we are good to move in. (ah!)

Here is the living room in progress:

This is what it looked like when we went to visit it before the other people moved out:

 

And here it is after cleaning, painting, and carpeting:

We painted the walls a color called "Dapper Tan" with accent walls in a yummy chocolate brown.

The moving part is the scary part as I am SO uncomfortable and useless right now. Everything is painful. How am I going to pack and move a house? Eek! I have been cleaning the new place though, despite it being so hard to move around.

Anyway, that is what is happening. Baby is doing good, his little bum is always up in my ribs doing all kinds of dances. I love him so much already and I am excited for him to join us so I can take a crack at this mothering thing.

Here are my stats for the week -

How far along: 35 Weeks (Seriously, every time a realize this, I panic a little)

Size of baby: 18 inches long and about 6 pounds - honeydew melon in fruit-speak.

Gender: Boy.

Maternity Clothes: Is it acceptable to just wear yoga pants and a t-shirt to the office? Please?

Stretch Marks: Still more appearing everyday, creeping further and further up my belly.

Sleep: :( Sad face. I am a zombie right now.

Cravings: Nothing new except last night I wanted Little Ceasars so bad, but they were already closed.

Looking forward to: Having my house done!

What I miss: In all seriousness, I miss the times when getting out of bed wasn't such a painful ordeal.

Symptoms: So much discomfort. I can't even imagine how it is going to be a month from now. Oh, but hey, I have been better about taking my Calcium and the Restless Leg Syndrome has gotten better!

 Worst moment this week: Having panic attacks over the pressure of getting out of our current living arrangement and into the new house.

Best moment this week: Finally being able to shop for baby!

Pregnancy dream of the week:

We had the baby, and it's actually a BOY this time, first time it's ever not been a girl in my dreams. He is bald with a little bit of blonde fuzz on his head. He is about a day old and Cody wants to go out to eat. I am following his truck in my van with Sawyer in the back in his car-seat. I turn around to look at him and I realize that it's the first time I have ever turned around and seen my baby there, so I was a little misty. (And by the way, the baby looked to be about 3 months old, even though he was just born yesterday). Then I realized that it is the middle of winter and it is freezing and my newborn doesn't have a HAT on! So I start panicking and turning the heat on full blast and cursing Cody for not putting a hat on the baby (for some reason it was all Cody's fault). We get to the restaurant and Cody chose this place that you have to walk a few blocks to get to and there are tons of people crowding the streets waiting to get into the restaurant. So now I am really mad because why does he ALWAYS choose to go to this place on a saturday night?! In the middle of winter! With a newborn hatless baby!

The End.