Stupid monkey crap...

Lately I think to myself:

Do I need a baby mop romper?!?

 

How about one of these? Is this something I might use?
 

Yesterday I registered for baby stuff. (fun!) I thought that the only decision I would really struggle with was the stroller. Or travel system. Whatever. So many decisions with what to choose. But now I realize that there are so many decisions to make that I already thought I made! Organic mattresses? Gliding or rocking swing? Vibrating bouncy seats?! Different sizes of NIPPLES?!! Everything has monkey's on it and I hate monkeys! (I love monkeys, just not on baby crap).

But I am working my way through these monumental decisions and trying my best to weed out the jungle animal and teddy bear themed junk. And reading sooo many reviews. I read reviews when I purchase stuff. And now I am picking out a LOT of stuff and that involves a lot of reviews.

Picking out this stuff is a little overwhelming, especially since I have never had a baby and I have no clue what they like and need. Something I'm sure a lot of new moms go through, I know. Unless you are the chill mom who doesn't really care. Lucky you.

Anyway, if anyone wants to tell me their opinion on what the heck kind of baby baths  I should look at (do I need two? Newborn and older baby?), be my guest!

Lately I have been letting myself get overwhelmed with 1.) All the things I need to get done and 2.) The thought of the hospital and everything that goes along with giving birth. I never thought I would get to that point of getting nervous about birth because I thought I was already mentally prepared. But then the reality of more than a dozen people up in my business or shall we say "bidness" gets more real the closer it gets. And the horror stories of the poop and the episiotomies and the blood for weeks. Oh my. I knew all of this, but now "all of this" is getting nearer.

I just need to take my mother's advice and take it one day at a time. I just need to get some things checked off my list and lift some of this weight off my shoulders. Mostly I am excited. I promise. I can't wait to see the face of my baby and meet him and get to know him!

When looking for stupid inventions for babies, some pretty dumb inventions came up for grown-ups, too:



Just what I need!

Bump Stats - Week 21

How far along: 21 weeks

Size of baby: 10 inches, or the size of a carrot. (Roughly the size of a cantaloupe not counting the legs. Or a pomegranate. It really depends on who you ask.) Sometimes I feel like he ways a ton, and sometimes I don't notice. Those kicks are getting stronger every day, though!

Gender: A little baby boy! Aww!

Maternity Clothes: Still using the maternity hand-me-downs. Very nice to have some different stuff to wear. My darn sister-in-law is a medium though, so these won't work when I get big. It's ok, Leese. I still love you even if you are a petite flower.

Stretch Marks: None yet! The belly button is slowly disappearing, though. I have always looked forward to the pregnant belly button. I think it's so cute when ladies get that!

Sleep: Same thing with the waking up early and never going back to sleep. Side note, please don't text me before 7 am. I will NOT be able to go back to sleep. And I like sleep while I can get it. And also, why are you texting me before the sun is up? WHY?

Food Cravings: I have never had one before, but suddenly I wanted an Italian sub from Jimmy Johns with salami. I have had two this week. So good.

What I miss: Care-free sushi eating. I go to the Ichiban buffet and try to find a lady who speaks enough English to tell me which rolls are safe. They usually look at me pretty funny.

Looking forward to: Last week I said "driving my new van" on this one. Well I finally started driving it yesterday! Yay! I love it, it's definitely an upgrade. Now I am looking forward to going to California to visit my sister.

Symptoms: I am happy to say that I have not thrown up since I ate that spicy Mexican food at 19 weeks. No more morning sickness since about 20 weeks. I am liking pregnancy so much more now. As long as I stay away from spiciness (which is unusual, as I normally try to get red peppers and jalapenos and salsa and hot sauce involved with most of my meals) I am nausea free. I just have to take heartburn medicine most nights. Hooray for the 2nd trimester!

Worst Moment this week: I am embarrassed to say this, but I will be honest. I had a hormone induced meltdown on Sunday which ended in a humiliating display of crying on the kitchen floor because we didn't have the right kind of frozen pizza. I knew it was absolutely ridiculous at the time, but at that point I was too hysterical to stop it. Cody now knows that my pregnant body can't handle not eating for 5 hours straight. It just doesn't work. I know, poor Cody. He handled it like a champ, though. And cut me some slack. Mostly, I keep my hormones in completely in check. It's only on occasion that we notice their effects.

Best Moment this week: Having Cody feel the baby kick and giving Cody his birthday presents.

Dream of the week: I had a dream last night that I woke up (in the room I grew up in, but in the dream it was my house) and realized that I had a baby. I looked over and in a little crib was a newborn baby (a girl, as usual in my dreams). I got excited since I had apparently been sleeping since giving birth a couple days before and hadn't seen her yet. I went over to her and she was smiling and looking around. I realized that she must be hungry. Then I started panicking because I realized that she had been only bottle fed since birth. I tried to breastfeed her and this newborn baby told me "no!" she didn't want to. Then Cody came in and acted like I was totally gross for wanting to breastfeed. He said bottle-feeding is just better and easier. (In real life my husband is actually very pro-breastfeeding.) And apparently the 3 day old talking was just no biggie.

Cody will be 25 tomorrow and that sounds so weird to me! 25 just sounds so much older than 24. I can't believe I will be 25 when I have this baby. It sounds so grown up. Of course I won't be grown up, it just sounds that way.

Happy Birthday, love of my life!!!

Weekend Happenings

This weekend went differently than planned. Since we are moving to a smaller place, we need to downsize our stuff. I was planning on taking said stuff to a consignment place that is usually really easy and not picky on what they take. That was the plan for this weekend. Luckily before we hauled the stuff to the store, I called them to make sure they still accepted furniture.

They do not. Oh.

So now I am thinking we will have a yard sale. We are going to revamp some old stuff and make it awesome. Plus I am selling my not so old stuff that I just don't have room for anymore. So basically, if you like awesome stuff, you should probably come on down!

And now I get to plan a yard sale! Yaaay. My most recent experience with yard sales was not so great (hellacious). So I am a little nervous about it!

We are also trying to sell the old Buick. Which is going slooowly. I need that thing out of my life.

On Saturday we were laying in bed watching TV and the baby started kicking a lot. I had been trying to get Cody to feel it but thus far he had not been able to. But I paused the TV, grabbed his hand and pressed it down on my belly and we waited quietly. He couldn't feel anything at first, but then Baby did a really strong kick and he finally felt it! I was so excited. Cody was nervous about it because he anticipated that he would be freaked out, but he did not freak out. He felt a few kicks. It was beautiful. I think I even saw my belly move a bit, I can't wait until I can really see feet and stuff moving around!

Baby boy has been really active lately and I love to just sit and feel him. When I am really bored I try to concentrate on feeling the kicks for entertainment purposes, but he doesn't kick on command, so much. :)

On Sunday we were finally released from our Primary calling (HALLELUJAH). We just got the new class for this year and let's just say I was dreading church for a while. They were... challenging.

So we are free! (for now) I am a little concerned because the 2nd counselor told Cody repeatedly to not get comfortable. Eeek!

Happy bump day

Bump Day Prego Stats!

How far along: 20 weeks

Size of baby: 10 inches, or the size of a banana. They start measuring from the head to the feet at this point instead of head to bum. The baby's legs are stretched out and it is easier to measure this way now. (At our anatomy scan, baby boy's legs were stretched all the way out and crossed at the ankles. And his hands were both up by his head. He's just chillin' like a villain in there.

Gender: Boy. Still, phew!

Maternity Clothes: Today I am wearing an outfit completely made of maternity hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law, Elisa. Very comfy! Thanks, Leese!

Stretch Marks: Not yet. I need to be better about my tummy butter regimen.

Sleep: Still wake up every morning around 4 or 5. This morning I woke up at 5:45 and on my way to the bathroom I heard a beeping sound. I thought a fire alarm was going off somewhere in the house, but it turned out to be my ipod dock in the next room. Either a cat or a ghost set it to go off every week day at 5:00 am. I can't figure out how to turn it off so I had to unplug it. I went back to bed and once I finally fell asleep I had dreams about ghosts.

Food Cravings: I can't seem to say no to sweets these days. I am not usually much of a sweets person (normally I take Mcdonald's fries over cake or ice cream any day) but lately I have been making a lot of brownies. I also just ate a cupcake from Kneader's. Yummy! I need to get my eating back in check, though!

What I miss: Last week I said going to movies, but this week we finally made it to the Hobbit. Even when we were on our way to the movie Cody didn't think it was actually going to happen. But it did! This week I can't think of anything I miss.

Looking forward to: Driving my new van. We just put the Buick up for sale and we are just waiting for the DMV to receive the paperwork from the dealership so we can register it.

Symptoms: Back hurting all the time. Whenever I get up from my office chair at work I waddle around with my hand on my back like I am way more pregnant-er than I am. But that's how much my back hurts!

Worst Moment this week: Umm, never seeing Cody. He is having a very busy week. At this moment he has been awake for 27 hours straight. I asked him if he is crazy and he said, yes. Yes he is.

Best Moment this week: Feeling the baby move! Today I am definitely feeling the "floppy fish/butterflies" sensation. I love when he starts moving in there and reminds me that I have a little boy on the way. I talk to him and ask him for more kicks but he totally doesn't respond to my requests.

I have also been playing him music since babycenter.com tells me he can hear stuff like that now. I was hoping to feel a response to the music but I never did. I played Baby Mine from Dumbo, my favorite Shins song, then I tried some bass-y dance music that I actually was hoping he wouldn't like (still no movement) and then later I was playing this ICP video for Cody (Ok wait wait, stop whatever you are thinking. Yes, ICP. Insane Clown Posse. That is right. No, I do not normally indulge in such classy music. However, there is this song called "Miracles" that they made fun of on SNL a couple of years ago and Cody and I like to watch the original and the spoof back to back sometimes because this brings us much joy. Ok? Gosh.) 

Anyway, I played the song by ICP and the baby started moving around. This does worry me but I am just going to assume that he was kicking out of protest, and when I played the other nice songs, he was staying still so he could listen better. I am hoping.

We have movement!

It finally happened! This weekend I was laying in bed watching TV and I started to feel very definite kicks in the belly! The previous few nights I thought I felt stuff going on in there but couldn't really tell. But Saturday night I had no doubt. It's my baby! And I could even feel it on my hand from the outside a few times. It feels amazing! I was looking for the "floppy fish" feeling but the best way I can describe the way it feels for me is extreme muscle twitches.

Ever since then he is very active. I feel him all the time at random times throughout the day, not just when I am laying quietly. It is awesome and I am so very happy that I can feel him now.

20 Weeks - Halfway mark yeah!

Today I am 20 weeks, woohoo! I am halfway there and I can't believe it! Sometimes June seems like it is coming too fast and sometimes I can't wait to get there. But mostly I realize that I am definitely not ready for it to be June. Not quite yet, anyway. I don't think I am mentally prepared for that responsibility and change. For now I am quite content with this stage in my life. I haven't been sick for a few days, and I am actually enjoying being pregnant (who woulda thought?).

Here I am working my favorite accessory, my baby bump.

 

My 20 week bump:

 

I really like where I am right now. I like having a baby in my belly. And maybe, just maybe I have been feeling some movement in there the past couple of nights. Every once in a while I find myself telling Cody that he should be the one getting pregnant next time. You have a turn, Dear. But no matter how miserable I am when I say that, I always find myself taking it right back. Even though there are so many things that are just SO HARD and painful about the process of growing a baby, and then having a baby, and then recovering from that process, I wouldn't ever want to give that up to the men. This is a blessing. I get to carry a tiny baby and feel it moving inside of me and have a connection with that child that the father doesn't have. It is truly amazing and beautiful.

Sometimes I realize the reality that I am going to be popping out a baby soon and I wonder if God knows just who he is giving a baby to. Does he really think I can handle this? That's pretty flattering.

There are times when I think I can be the best mom ever. But other times, when I feel sick and can't imagine having to get up and take care of a crying baby, I wonder. Or just simple things like making food. Everyday. For a little kid. Like, in the early morning time, people. That is going to be my life and that is pretty bizarre to me.

And then I see things on Pinterest or Facebook where moms spend time creating sensory games for their toddlers like glow-stick fishing in the bathtub, or using a recipe to make doll hair soft again. Do people really do this? Am I supposed to want to do this? Maybe it is because my mom never spent time on stuff like that. And though I did not have activities like this set up for me as a child, my childhood was freakin' amazing if I do say so myself.

But would I have been happier if my mom tried her best to make my doll's hair new again? I don't think so. I mean, tangled doll hair is certainly bothersome and I would have appreciated her taking interest in such things, but I think my mother showed me that she loved me in different ways. She strapped me to the back of her bike and rode. She took me to the canyon on her back and showed me the gorgeous mountains and rivers. She woke me up to show me the creatures of the night and to go star gazing. I may have not have had "DIY slime" to develop my sensory and motor skills, but I sure appreciate the beauty of my childhood and what my mom did to make it the best ever.

I am hoping that I will suddenly have an interest in putting together activities to entertain my children, but I really don't see myself doing that stuff. I think I will find my own way of developing their minds and entertaining them. Props to the moms who do stuff like this, seriously. You ladies are awesome and so creative! It's just not my thing, personally. Not for now, anyway.

It's not like I don't want to play with my kids and spend time with them, of course I do! I have been looking forward to being a mother since I can remember. I have always planned on being a stay at home mom and I know that this is what I was made for. I do! I know this. I know I was sent here to be a really great mom and raise kids. And I love thinking up things I want to do with them, going on adventures, going to the park, feeding ducks, showing them the world and all the beauty in it. And doing stuff at home like crafts and whatnot. I have always planned on this. But I am hoping that just because I don't care to put toddler olympics together in my house, this doesn't make me a bad mom.

Oh no. Guilt of being a bad mother is already setting in! I am in trouble.

Anyway, I know Heavenly Father is sending this baby to me. Specifically me, because I am the mama they need, and they are the children I need. The End.

Anatomy Scan

Today I was nervous. Actually, this week I have been nervous. So far when we go to the doctors appointments, everything is normal and fine. But the anatomy scan seemed like a big deal, and I was worrying. 

But we went in and everything looks good! I was relieved to find out that our baby is doing well and is still a boy (I had to make sure!) He is measuring a week ahead and has a biggish head. (yaaaay, so happy about that information) We got lots of little pictures of hands and legs and feet and faces. He was doing lots of kicking and fidgeting with his hands. 

It was so cool to see his spine and heart and everything. I did find out that the placenta is in the front, therefor I have a harder time feeling the baby move. This is something I suspected but I was hoping it wasn't the case. I want to feel that baby!

So now I can relax. Phew! So far so good.

Mmm, quesadilla...

Bump Day Prego Stats!

How far along: 19 weeks

Size of baby: 6 inches long, or the size of a mango.

Gender: Boy.

Maternity Clothes: I love my maternity jeans that I got from Old Navy. I also was recently able to fit into a maternity dress that I got before I even got pregnant. (It was on sale, I had to.) Serena dress by More of Me Maternity shown here:

Stretch Marks: Not yet.

Sleep: It is now just normal for me to wake up around 4:00 and be wide awake. And then of course at work I want a nap so bad!

Food Cravings: None at the moment. But I will randomly want weird things at weird times. Like late one night after dinner I suddenly needed a quesadilla asap. Or another time I needed peaches and vanilla ice cream, together. But last night we had a delicious dinner of rotisserie chicken, baked sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and asparagus. Yum!

What I miss: Going to movies. Every time we try to see The Hobbit, I get sick.

Looking forward to: Still looking forward to feeling that baby move!

Symptoms: Random sickness at night and sometimes in the morning. I tried to eat Mexican food this weekend and it was a bad, bad, bad choice.

Worst Moment this week: Finishing Once Upon A Time first season on Netflix and not having the next season!

Best Moment this week: Driving our new mini-van home! We bought a Town & Country in Las Vegas. She is very pretty. Cody watched Nacho Libre on the way home in the back. Get that corn outta my face! 

But, though I do drive a mini-van, I refuse to be called a soccer mom. I need to put a new Deftones sticker on it, asap! It will be weird driving it around with just me and no kids in it. I could pretend I just dropped the kids off at school, but then I would be driving a mini-van and making up children that don't exist. I think that option might be worse.

Stresssss

All I can think about lately is how I wanted to get the nursery and nesting done long before I was in my ninth month. When we are finally able to get into the new house, I will be huge and not wanting to move. And this is the time that we have to not only move our entire household from one home to another, but also clean the crap out of it/paint/renovate AND set up a nursery. My brain is going to explode. Not how I wanted things to go! But things always go their own way, and not the way you plan.

It will be weird to acquire nursery furniture and baby clothes and equipment and not be able to do anything with them until I am 36 weeks along. I am a planner so this goes against my nature, for sure!

We have been discussing baby names lately and we can't seem to come to an agreement on a middle name. Coming up with names is harder than I thought! And really it's just me suggesting and Cody shutting them all down. Fast. I don't see him picking up any baby name books and coming up with ideas! (And if he did, that would be pretty bizarre.) Maybe we will just have to name him Pierre or Fabrizio. That is a threat, Cody.

Nursery Inspirations

My inspiration for planning my baby boy's nursery is a little complicated. I am kind of going for a vintage Frontier Land type motif. I haven't ever really seen a nursery with the things I am trying to find, so unlike a woodland or a nautical theme where those types of decorations are easy to find, vintage cowboys, Indians, tom sawyer, and all the other craziness in my head is harder to make a reality because I barely know what I am talking about, myself. But. Below are some things that illustrate my inspirations for the room.

1. and 2. Vintage Disneyland Posters found online. 3. Arrow Painting by Lisa. 4. Arrow Set by FletcherandFox. 5. Davey Crockett Coon-Skin Crochet Cap. 6. Cowboys and Indians Wall Decal by belleandboo. 7. Illustration by Dadu Shin. 8. Tree Stump Seat and Woodgrain Lamp from Land of Nod. 9. Camper Play Set by TweetToys.

My hump, my hump, my lovely baby bump

Check it out...

Me at 5 weeks (the day we found out)

 

And me today at 19 weeks

Thinking thoughts

My last post reminded me of this Post Secret postcard that I can relate to.

Of course my kids can be who they want to be and if that is the most normal, average person alive, I guess that is ok.(kidding! Of course it is ok.) But if they do turn out to be the type that marches to the beat of their own drum, I hope I can instill in them the confidence to do so even if the other kids pressure them to do otherwise. Being yourself pays off, eventually!

Music for Baby

The other day I pulled a bunch of songs from my iTunes and created an iTunes list just for baby. I have an old iPod mini that I will use for his nursery and it is blue, so just perfect for baby boy! I included lots of lullaby type songs including Rockabye Baby (with Nirvana, Led Zeppelin, and The Beatles) and Lullatone albums as well as the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack with Karen O (I didn't like the movie but I love Karen O!).

I love lullatone! I purchased a couple of albums a while ago because I knew I would want them for my baby and at the time they were giving the proceeds to the Japan earthquake relief. (The lullatone people are actually a cute couple who live in Japan, who by the way are so nice and generous! They emailed me right back when I ordered and said that I ordered right on time as he was about to go to the post office). The music includes all kinds of dreamy calming sounds for baby like the xylophone, ukulele, ambient white noise, underwater recordings, and heartbeats. I have the albums Looping Lullabies and Songs that Spin in Circles. I love them both and I hope my junebug loves them too.

I also added lots of other songs from bands that I will "encourage" baby to like and some pop songs that I know he will want to get jiggy to. As well as fun educational type things like Yo Gabba Gabba, School House Rock, and some They Might be Giants albums that make my sister say that my kids are going to be "special." Hello! Of course they will be special. Super-awesome-weird-but-cool type special!

Can't wait until I know he can hear and I can play music for him to listen to in utero style. :) I have already started humming songs to him but I feel a little silly since I am not sure he even has ears yet. 

Bump Update - Bumpdate?

Friday I will be 19 weeks. As of now the baby is about the size of a green pepper. I have not felt movement yet, but whenever we have an ultra sound, baby is moving around like crazy. How can I not feel a green pepper squirming around inside me? At times I think I feel it but it is so subtle I think it could be in my head. I want to feel it so bad! Sometimes when I am going to sleep I will lay there and concentrate really hard hoping to feel something.

Weekly Pregnancy Stats!

How far along: 18 weeks and 4 days

Size of baby: About 5 1/2 inches and 6 oz. Bell Pepper sized in vegetable speak.

Total weight gain: Ugh. About 10 pounds. I don't really want to know.

Gender: Boy!

Maternity Clothes: I fit into some of them already and I am able to make my stretchy clothes work really well with my cute bump. My new maternity jeans arrived and are so comfy. (yay!)

Stretch Marks: I swear I see a really faint one appearing on my belly. This is very scary. I have been using Spoiled Mama stuff as well as L'Occitane Shea Butter which I really like so far. It doesn't smell and it stays on for a long time.

Sleep: I wake up waaay too early in the morning and many times during the night due to dreams and bathroom trips. No matter how late I stay up I automatically wake up around 5:30 or 6:00 and then I am tired all day. Things are already uncomfortable. My hips hurt and I can't lay on my back because that hurts too.

Food Cravings: Hummus and pita bread.

What I miss: Spicy food. This heartburn doesn't allow for my usually spicy menu.

Looking forward to: Feeling that baby move!

Symptoms: Still have morning sickness but today and yesterday were actually okay. I am not getting my hopes up too high though! And heartburn at night. Zantac is a life saver.

Worst Moment this week: Breaking down the morning Cody went back to school. Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh yeah, and my new sunday school 5 year olds. Some of them are a challenge!

Best Moment this week: Seeing my sister and her kids.

Roller Coaster Ride

Recently we have been taken for a roller coaster ride by my folks. We live in a home that they own (used to be my grandparents) and we pretty much just take care of the place and pay utilities and help with things like taxes and insurance sometimes. The house next to ours was also my grandparents that they built for my great aunt to live in basically until she died or couldn't live there anymore. Once she is unable to live there, the home goes to me (I know, pretty sweet). Well a year ago the Aunt had a stroke and has been living in an assisted living facility ever since. Her son moved into the house to take care of it. He has been living there for free and he takes care of the yard and whatnot.

About a month ago my father decided that neighbor man should start paying rent to us so that way we could keep living in the home we are in now and saving money for the baby and stuff. So that was the plan, and that is what the neighbor man was told as well. Then a week ago my dad suddenly decided that the house we are in now is too much work and we need to move out. (ah!) So now neighbor man is being kicked out and we have to move in in May. (I am due in June, ah!)

Though it is AWESOME that I have a house and that I get to live in it finally, it is a huge amount to figure out and not that great of timing. The house is much smaller so we will be downsizing a lot of our stuff. The house smells like smoke really bad and the carpets need to be replaced. Painting needs to be done and the light fixtures and window treatments really need to be replaced. And did I mention it's kind of tiny? Figuring all of this out is just... stressful! I was planning the nursery in our current house and really looking forward to the extra income, and everything has been flipped upside down. I sound completely ungrateful, I know. I realize that. I totally understand my dad wanting to get rid of the money pit we live in now. And I want to take that burden away from him and also get out of being dependent on him (living in his house, etc). It's just too bad that we got our hopes up about it being one way, and now we have to give it up at such a bad time.

And then there's Cody's woodshop. That is a whole other problem in itself.

Ahh!

I just need to look at the positive and think of all the amazing things we have to be grateful for (which is a lot!). Sorry for the pity party I just threw. But that is what is going on at the moment.

Also I have no idea how to make ribs

So now I needed to tell my husband, Cody. Ever since I was a kid I envisioned telling my husband that I was pregnant with a baby themed dinner a la Full House. Baby back ribs, baby shrimp, baby potatoes, baby corn. But I did not have time to make an amazing baby themed dinner. I needed to tell him quick.

 So I went into the kitchen to find my dear husband making us some Mac n Cheese. I needed to get him out of the kitchen in order to execute my idea. I told him that he could go change into some comfy clothes and I would finish dinner. Like the sweetheart he is, he insisted that he could make it or at least stay and help. I insisted that he at least go take off his shoes. Finally he left and said that he would be back to help. I had to act fast.

I ran to the office and searched like a maniac for a blank piece of paper. None on the desk, it must be in a drawer. The drawer that has this weird antique locking device and it locks up whenever it feels like it. You have to use hulk strength to get it open whenever it does this. However, being the mama bear that I am now, I must use my super pregnancy strength! That drawer didn't stand a chance. I grabbed a paper and a sharpie and quickly wrote "Open Me" on it. I grabbed some tape and ran back to the kitchen. I taped the paper to the oven, found a hamburger bun and put it in the oven. Then I casually leaned against the sink just in time for Cody to walk in.

 

 

After a few seconds Cody noticed the note on the oven. Confused he walked over and opened it. He asked "a little hamburger bun?"  I waited for a moment and asked "There's a little bun in the oven?" He said "Yeah..." He turned around still confused. Then I saw a little hint of understanding register on his face. He smiled and walked toward me and asked "Are you pregnant??" I pulled the positive test from my pocket and showed him. He hugged me and kissed me and then kissed my belly.

The next little while we just sat together in happiness. It was a very very joyous moment and I didn't want it to end. Now the question was "What the heck do we do now?"

The Day We Found Out

One day in October I told Cody that for dinner that night I wanted spaghetti with meat sauce. We usually have meatballs but this time I really wanted ground beef mixed in for some reason. Later that night I was in the office and Cody was in the kitchen starting dinner. Suddenly I smelled something awful. I realized it was the cooking meat.

Cody came into the office and I asked him if the meat smelled like it had gone bad to him. He said no, it smells fine. This excited me a bit. I told him that one of the top 10 signs of pregnancy is food aversions, specifically cooking meat. That night after wanting ground beef so badly, I had to try and pick around the meat to get some sauce. We both wondered and made plans to take a test the next day.

The next day we were going for a drive to see the autumn leaves. We got up that morning and headed out to Right Aid. We got a test and went about our day. We drove up to Cedar Mountain and the colors were beautiful. I collected some leaves to decorate my house. It was a lovely fall day.

Throughout the day I kept coming back to the thought that I just might be pregnant. Was my life going to change that day? Would I cry when I found out? What would I feel if the test were negative? I prepared myself for either result and tried not to get my hopes to high, but I couldn't help but think about the very real possibility of a little one joining us and making us a family.

That night we got home. Cody started making some dinner and I quietly snuck away with my bag of pregnancy test paraphernalia. I closed the door of my room and went into the bathroom and took the test. I carefully set it down according to the instructions not wanting to mess something up. I counted in my head to 3 minutes and didn't let myself look down. Could I even look at it? This could either be life changing or heart-breaking.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. I considered that I might be having a small heart attack. Three minutes came and I picked up the stick that could change our lives forever.

 

I looked down and saw the little pink line that meant that the two of us were not alone that day on our autumn leaves drive.

 

I sat there and stared. I didn't cry, I didn't do anything but stare. I don't know if it didn't really hit me or if it didn't seem real or what but I was a little dazed for a moment. Now what? Now I tell Cody is what. And how would I do that? I would have to make it special for such a momentous...well... moment.

Our Christmas Gift to Us

We had our gender ultrasound on the 20th of December. I read an idea on a message board I follow where a pregnant lady was going to have the ultrasound tech put her gender results in an envelope and then they would open it on Christmas Morning. I read this idea to Cody, not thinking he would really want to wait and to my surprise he said "Let's do it!"

My family was all thinking it would be a girl. I felt like it would be a boy from the beginning but I was definitely not sure at all. I read that whatever you dream it will be, it will be the opposite. In all of my dreams it was a girl, so there was another reason to believe it was a boy.

We went to the appointment and the tech did her thing. We saw a little hand and a creepy face and a spine and a brain. Then she told us to cover our eyes. It didn't take her very long to find it. That also made me think it was a boy because boy parts are probably easier to spot.

We went home and waited and waited and waited. Every time I was in the living room, the mysterious envelope would stare at me and I would stare back. I could know if I just opened it! It was hard to resist but I reminded myself that Christmas would be way more special if we waited.

Christmas morning came and we were so excited. We drew out the anticipation by eating breakfast and opening stockings first. And then the moment came. Cody made me open it. We put it face down on the floor and we both flipped it over at the same time. Ah!

 

I was right! A little bouncing baby boy will be joining us in June.

Cody is very excited to have a little Cody running around soon!